A Story for My Grandchildren

Here is a story I've written for my grandchildren.  I'm happily anticipating reading it to them!

My Hobby Dog

“Grandpa,” the children shouted, “Tell us the story of your most favorite dog ever!”

“Well,” Grandpa cleared his throat, scratched his head and asked, “You want to hear that story again?  The one about that special dog?”

“Please,” they begged. 

“People were always saying to me, ‘you must be an avid hunter because you’re always hunting.’  After I’d heard that enough, I thought maybe I should become an avid hunter.  And any good avid hunter would need to get a good dog to hunt for those avids.  So I set out to find me such a dog.

“I went way up yonder next door and found the perfect dog to hunt avids.  The owner took me clear out front to his backyard to show me this special dog.  That dog was hard to see.  His coat was kind of black and kind of brown.  I couldn’t tell the black from the brown or the brown from the black.  He was camouflaged.  His long-short hair was straight like a horse’s mane and curly like a sheep’s wool.  He had a long, short, straight corkscrew tail that stood still when he wagged it.  Oh, he was a very special dog!

“He had a really long pug nose and tiny beady eyes with pupils the size of Oreo cookies to help him see the avids at night.  His miniature floppy ears stood straight up and were huge and powerful so he might hear the avids’ heartbeats.  

“His short legs were remarkably long and ran all the way to the ground.   Standing on the ground were his teeny feet that had great big pads to help him float.  But he was afraid of water.  What a special dog!

“He was a professional hobby dog.  I made my up mind that I would buy that dog.  He didn’t cost much, but he was very expensive.  I called him My Hobby Dog since he was so professional.  Did you know that my Hobby Dog was a very special dog?

“My Hobby Dog and I wanted to start avid hunting right away.  We learned all about avids and how to hunt them.     Avids can be found in dry creek beds and in clear-cut forests. The best time to hunt avids is in the moonlight on dark, stormy nights.

“On one moonlit, stormy night, My Hobby Dog and I jumped in the truck and walked to the dry creek bed.  What do you think we saw?”

“What?”  The wide-eyed children asked.

“Avids!  They were playing and swimming in the dry creek bed and didn’t even see us come.  The second his beady eyes and huge pupils caught a glimpse of those avids, My Hobby Dog jumped into the water that wasn’t there and nabbed the biggest avid.  With that avid in his mouth, My Hobby Dog swam to the bank and climbed out of the dry creek bed.  He brought the avid right to me and I put it in the sack.  We had our first avid. 

“The rest of the avids in the dry creek bed were frightened and scrambled to get to safety, but  My Hobby Dog was too fast for them.  He snatched them, one by one, out of the creek bed and carried them to me.  In a short time that took almost all night, we had enough avids to fill one empty sack. 

“My Hobby Dog and I were not tired but we went home to get some sleep.  We would hunt again the next moonlit, stormy night.”

“What about all the avids you caught, Grandpa?  What did you do with them all?”  

“What do you think I did with all those avids?  I found a big box with a lid.  With a sharp knife, I cut great big small holes in the sides and lid.  I emptied the sack of avids into that big box and quickly clapped on the lid.  I taped the lid to the box to keep those avids from escaping.   They were so surprisingly quiet that they kept us awake all night.   The next morning I turned them all loose in the garden shed. 

“Another moonlit, stormy night came.  Do you think My Hobby Dog was ready to go avid hunting?”

“Yes!”  The children cried in unison.

“Yes, he was.  We drove nearby across the county to the largest clear-cut forest in the region.  Before I could stop the truck, My Hobby Dog leaped right out of the window and with his long pug nose to the ground ran smack-dab in the middle of that clear-cut forest.  Avids were running everywhere to stay away from my dog.  My Hobby Dog chased one avid up a tall tree that wasn’t there.  He stood still, looked up and barked and barked so loud that I couldn’t even hear him.  My Hobby Dog waited for a long second, and when that crazy avid jumped onto the trunk of the next tree that wasn’t there, My Hobby Dog sprung up and grabbed that avid in his mouth.   He ran all the way back to me, gathering even more in his mouth with every step. 

 

“I grabbed the largest small sack out of my truck, laid it on the ground beside me and held open its end.  By the time My Hobby Dog reached me, he had five avids in his mouth and was chasing a dozen more.  The avids running ahead of him went straight into the open sack.  Then My Hobby Dog let loose of the ones in his mouth and they ran straight into the open sack too.  Once all the avids were in sack, I tied it shut and carefully threw it into the bed of the truck. 

 

“We jumped in and out of the truck, then My Hobby Dog laid down standing up all the way home.  Once we got to the house, we realized it was a long time past supper and our full stomachs were empty.  Avid stew seemed like just the thing to take away our hunger.  I took a few of the avids out of the sack, and off with their heads and feet!  My Hobby Dog ate all the furs and feathers and I put what was left into the stew pot along with potatoes and carrots.  We had such a delightful meal.

“When we finished supper, My Hobby Dog licked off all the plates and spoons and even the stew pot.  Then I washed them all and put them away.  Boom!  Then it hit me!  I still had more avids in the sack!  I shook them out of the sack and stacked them on the shelf in the refrigerator.

“My Hobby Dog was a very special dog!  I’ll bet you’d like to see him!”

“Could we?”  the children shouted.

“I’ll get down the photo album and show you.”

Grandpa opened the photo album to the first page.  

“See here?” he asked.

“No, Grandpa, it’s just pictures of trees and meadows.  We don’t see a dog.”

“Oh, I forgot!  My Hobby Dog is very camera-shy.  He hid behind trees and in gopher holes every time I tried to take a picture of him.   But I can tell you the secret way to see My Hobby Dog.  Do you want to know that secret?”

“Yes!”

“To see My Hobby Dog, you have to have a good imagination.” 

The Antique Cradle

Many years ago we bought an antique cradle as a deal-sweetener when we bought our 1910s birds-eye maple bedroom suite.  Cowboy loves to haggle...and is an expert at it.  He negotiated to the limit on the bedroom suite, and when the saleslady would budge no further, he offered her a bit more money if she would throw in the cradle as part of the bargain.  She took the offer.  Since its introduction into my bedroom, this cradle has been the home to my bunny doll collection (and pillows and blankets and some stuffed animals....and unfortunately things that should have been put away ... like socks and a pair of shorts).  It has been waiting patiently to be employed as it was intended.    

When Peach and Baby J were released from the hospital, she wanted to come to our house to stay awhile.  I truly can't remember when I've been so excited!  I scattered the bunny dolls and sundry on my bedroom floor like a teenager and dragged the heavy cradle into the living room.  It's not a fancy cradle; it looks handmade....which makes it all the more endearing.  I can't help but wonder about all the little sugar babies who've been swaddled and laid down to sleep in it.  

While I was preparing the bedding for the cradle, guess whose curiosity got the better of them.....

Ginger and Sunny ....  bad dogs!

Baby J, sporting his "team grandpa" pajamas, looked like a tiny doll as he slept in my cradle.  (Dogs were put away in their crates for the duration).  If inanimate objects had feelings, this cradle would be overjoyed.  

Baby J 

A better view

Peach, Boy Wonder and Baby J left to see Boy Wonder's family.  I actually felt my heart sink as they pulled out of our drive.  I'm a big fan of sharing....I just didn't want him to leave just yet.  

Sunny spent the next few minutes looking for him....

Where's that baby?

The cradle is a family heirloom...starting now.

This Beautiful Life

We slept with the bedroom window open last night.  The frogs' peeping was music to my ears--torture to Cowboy's ...too bad, so sad.  haha

A little thundershower rolled through this morning.  There are few sounds that soothe the soul like that sound of soft rain. (alliteration!...did you see what I did there?)   I would have stayed in bed longer if it weren't for our pesky dogs.  So needy!  "I need to go out!"  "I want to come back in!"  "I'm hungry"  .... !!!!  We kicked them out the door.  I know it was raining!  They could stand on the porch!!  Big babies.

Rancher's dog, Mr. Big, is staying with us for a while.  Mr. Big and I are going to get back into shape.  A Fat Farm, as it were.  Mr. Big has learned to scratch at the door...and so he did, repeatedly.   Harry and Aussie Pup whined outside our open bedroom window.  Might as well stay up!

Sundays are peaceful.  We went to church (a new one, click on my farm girl's devotions page).  Cowboy's Type A-if-you're-not-15-minutes-early-you're-late personality was in rare form.  Service started at 10:30, it takes about 10 minutes to get there...he wanted to leave home at 9:50!  I stomped on his internal clock!  We compromised:  we got to the church at 10:10...I strongly urged him to drive around a bit. We did.

The storm front coming in from the north-west looked like distant mountains in the sky.  The beauty of this part of the world never disappoints!  Now, at 4:30 in the afternoon, it's warm and breezy...like a summer day.

Cowboy is mowing grass...I'm enjoying nature's distractions while writing.  The wildflowers on the bank of the pond are slated for demolition this afternoon...Their final wish was to be photographed....

yellow dots of sunshine

more yellow....destined to be mowed down ... frown

I have to confess the strange workings of my brain:  Songs forever run through the itunes in my head---today it's "Little Church in the Wildwood"  that morphs ever so strangely into the Mario Kart music...

You don't know what it's like to be me!!  Yesterday it was a Taylor Swift day...???  Inexplicable.

Today's Episode of "The Farmer's Daughter"

In the spirit of the popular reality drama shows.....

Narration by:  a voice that sounds like Paul Christie (the guy who narrates Gold Rush Alaska)

"Today on the Farmer's Daughter...."

"Awakened at 3:15 am by a back spasm, Farmer's Daughter tosses and turns trying to find a comfortable position so she can fall back asleep.  It hasn't even occurred to her that her spasm stemmed from a careless maneuver the previous day...."

{Scene from yesterday's hidden camera:  Farmer's Daughter thoughtlessly lifting and carrying the shopvac to the truck instead of dragging it across the gravel drive}

"Catching a few more minutes sleep proves difficult when the dogs start fighting on the back porch.  Farmer's Daughter reluctantly gets up and puts on her robe.  The clock reads 5:15am and the eastern sky is just barely getting light."

{Camera follows her to the back porch where she lets the dogs outside.  They all chase the white cat into the barn}

"As she begins the morning routine, she realizes that the dishwasher was not run the day before:  the coffee pot is dirty, not usable until it's washed.  She knows that washing it properly will delay the brewing process so she opts to rinse it; a procedure she has secretly done countless times.  With the quick rinse complete, she inspects the interior of the pot; and satisfied with the results,  she activates the coffee brewing sequence."

{Camera shows her putting way too much cream and sugar into her coffee}

+++Commercial break---probably some teeth whitening product+++

"After her 3rd loaded cup of coffee, and having done her quiet time, Farmer's Daughter sorts a load of laundry.  When she opens the lid of the washing machine, she finds a full load of towels ready to wash.  She clearly doesn't remember the towels and gives Princess a sideways look.  The load she just sorted will have to wait until the towels are done...a delay she can't afford...but one that is unavoidable."

{Camera shows her watching the news and then follows her to the chicken house where she feeds the hens}

"Aware that she is behind schedule, she skips a crucial step in the feeding:  checking the water fountain....a move that will cause yet another set-back later in her day.  From the chicken house she makes her way to the clothes line and hangs both loads of laundry on the line."

{Camera jumps scene to show her carrying a big muck bucket to the front flower bed}

"Frustrated that her flower bed is overrun by renegade ground-covering weeds, Farmer's Daughter feverishly pulls the weeds and puts them into the giant bucket.  Her nose is running because of allergies.  Neighbors drop by to say hi.  She checks her watch...she will not make her 10:00 deadline.  She apparently doesn't care and stops to take a break."

{Camera follows her into the house and into the living room}

"She watches a cooking show online and heads back out finish the flower bed.  Even though she has only a small portion of the bed left to clear, she decides not to pull weeds.  Instead she starts to wash the 3rd truck (having washed 2 yesterday).  Visits from a girlfriend and then from her parents, Farmer and Farmer's Wife, put the truck washing on hold."

+++Commercial break---probably some kind of taco dinner+++

"She takes the Farmer and Farmer's Wife around the place to show them flowers and trees that are blooming.  They want to see the chickens.  As they all admire the chickens, Farmer's Daughter sees that the chickens' water fountain is bone-dry.  Now she has to interrupt the visit with her parents to do what should have been done that morning.  She fills their fountain; the chickens are so thirsty that they drink the water as it pours from the bucket.  It's an 80 degree March day."

{Camera pans out as Farmer and Farmer's Wife pull out of the drive way}

"Before the Farmer's Daughter heads out to finish washing the truck, she makes her way into the family's only bathroom.  The unthinkable happens...no toilet paper left on the roll.  And to make matters worse, no toilet paper in the vanity.  This is a major complication.  She calls Princess at work (knowing that such a call could find Princess in hot water with her bosses) to ask her to pick up toilet paper on the way home."

{Camera shows an uncomfortable Princess at the Law Firm on her cell phone}

"Princess tells Farmer's Daughter that there is still a lot of toilet paper in storage in the basement.  Relieved, Farmer's Daughter restocks the bathroom toilet paper supply."


There were so many more dramatic developments in my day...but it's LATE so I'm gonna have to continue this later....