Fiddle-Dee-Dee, Rhett, I'm Busy Subduing the Earth

Remember the scene in Gone With the Wind where Scarlett, dressed in draperies, visits Rhett in jail?  (and Mammy: "not with Miss Ellen's portiers!")  Rhett takes Scarlett's hands in his and notices that hers are the hands of a farm laborer.  Well, that's the scene that comes to mind today.  My hands are so sore from work!  It seems like I'm whining...and I am.

I am subduing my Patch of Paradise....which is no easy business.  In the course of a day I have trimmed around the place with the spin-trimmer...{talk about a work-out!},  sprayed weed-killer, trimmed the hedges, mowed with the big mower, trimmed with the little mower.

 You must realize that all the equipment around here was bought by Cowboy for Cowboy.  It was all-out War War War between those machines and me.

That crazy spin-trimmer is a man-eater!  I don't know how much it weighs but after I used it for an hour and a half, my arms were buzzing from the vibration and were as weak as noodles.  I came in for a drink and had to rest my elbows on the counter, steady the glass of water with both ridiculously feeble hands, and lower my lips to drink.  If you would only follow me around for a day and video all my actions, you would have endless entertainment.

I ran the stupid trimmer out of gas part way through my task.  I filled its little tank.....and couldn't start it again.  I lose!  So...I mixed up some weed-killer and sprayed the weeds on Cowboy's sparkly white stones of the driveway.  That sprayer tank is so heavy that my left arm is now longer than the right.

Then...I tried to start the disgusting trimmer again - to no avail!  I kicked it (don't tell).   So....I got out the electric hedge trimmer and approximately 2.5 miles of extension cord...and even though it was undoubtedly wrapped neatly, I tangled it into an immense ball of unmentionable expletives.   I unwound and wrestled that cord with my weak arms.  What frustration!!   During the wrestling match I thought through my household procedures and equipment:  NOTHING I do inside is this darned involved!  I made a pound cake using a complicated recipe yesterday and it wasn't this exasperating!  It took a long time but I trimmed those nasty hedges....not very well (hopefully Cowboy won't inspect closely).

I'm getting better at the mowing thing...the big mower is fun to drive (no more grass stains on the sidewalk) and I've even figured out how to start the little mower on the first few pulls.  Bad thing:  Everything takes so *blasted* long!  What's worse, I don't have a system...I'm just wingin' it...and I'm as weak as a kitten ...which makes me mad!...and I'm getting blisters on my calluses.

Scarlett would have done it better...but she had slaves...and sisters....and Mammy.  I wish I had Mammy's help.

About those machines....I felt like Scarlett when she said, "As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me.  I'm going to live throught this and when it's all over..."  my patch of paradise will look great!

I'll plant cotton!  Cotton should be sky-high next year!       NOT