Cattle Drive---Head 'em Up...Move 'em Out

I'm Lost?
I headed out to the farm really early. The Cowboy and crew were weighing and sorting cattle to take to the stockyards. He wanted me to meet him at the cattle barn and gave me different directions that were “supposed” to make my drive shorter and easier. Mind you, it’s 2 hours to the Western Edge and I know only ONE way to get there.

The Cowboy called periodically during my journey asking where I was. Finally near my destination, I made a right turn on the road he told me to……then I got L-O-S-T!!!! Somewhere between 3 turn-arounds and 2 dead-end roads, I lost my cool and my manners. The phone rang again. Did I answer with a sweet “hello”? Uhhhh No. I said (maybe I yelled), “I’M LOST!!!! I’M GOING BACK THE WAY I CAME AND I’LL COME TO YOU THE WAY I KNOW.” Again, no manners means no sweet “Love you. Bye” --just an angry press of the red button of my not-so-smart phone (I still have a Razor---don’t make fun of me).

When I got to the barn, they were loading the last of the calves to be sold onto the trailer. We jumped in the truck and headed to the stockyards. Cowboy said, “when we get back, we’ll go see where you got turned around.” Ok, that may have been what he said, but what I heard was, “when we get back, I’ll show you how even Stevie Wonder could have found his way here with the directions I gave.” Whatever! I was still in a bad mood.

My mood quickly changed though. The stockyards were interesting. My first time. Lots to look at. Amish folks. A flea market. Lots of trucks and trailers. I gave our information to a woman who was probably my age but looked mighty rough and haggard. She scared me a little… no, really.

I goofed around the rest of the day while the Cowboy worked. Then, we turned in early so we could be fresh and rested for an “old-fashioned cattle drive” in the morning. That’s how the Cowboy sold it to me…he knows I like “old-fashioned” anything.

Yee Haw!! Cattle Drive
The next morning two gorgeous cowgirls were on horseback to round up the cattle from the east pasture and head them into a round pen. Wish I knew how to do that. Cowboy and I were on the gator….not as graceful as a horse, but he drove it like it was a horse….making sharp turns, heading off cattle….Anyway, from the round pen the cowgirls would push the cattle about a half mile to the west pasture. Sounds easy. Yeah, well, not so much.

My job was to drive the gator with a bale of hay on the back to lure the matriarchal cow then the others would then follow at a walk. Ok, let's paint the picture: Drive the gator with a bale of hay down a steep hill, over a dam with a huge pond on the left and a tiny pond on the right with 3 passengers!! AAAAAAHHHHH

The cattle didn’t walk…..they RAN.

I’m practically freewheeling down the hill, looking behind me to make sure I’m stayin’ ahead of the cattle. All I can see are horns chasing me. My passengers are yelling, “GO GO GO GO GO.” I almost drive off the dam!! Then up a steep hill toward the pasture. THE GATE CLOSED ITSELF!!!!! One of my passengers, the sweet little pregnant one, jumps off the gator, runs up the hill and opens the gate while horns are still stampeding behind us!!! I lock the differential on the gator to get good traction up the hill, pedal to the metal, we barrel into the pasture and take a hard right while 21 head of cattle rush past.

HEAVY SIGH……then LOTS OF CHEERS!!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!! The crew even said I did a great job. (Really?) I couldn’t even stand on my noodle-legs. What have I gotten myself into?

You know, cattle are big and when they’re running after you…………………..well, go on and finish my sentence.