Chillin' on a Dirt Road

A weekend with my Cowboy is never dull. I spent Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday at the Western Edge (of my world). I'll give you the directions to get out there: make a right just past what looks like a tar pit (there might be a mastadon preserved there) go through the intersection where neither road has to stop (watch out!!) pass the shed grave yard (there must be 30 sheds in an acre field), pass the goats who have their own car (they're standing on it every day), pass the house with a wringer washer collection (no kidding), jog to the left then right past the house with the pig who runs free (he has a pen--he just knows how to get out), finally make a left onto the first dead-end road, follow the road till it dies and you're there!! Pure bliss!! "Dirt Road Anthem" was the song on my internal soundtrack all weekend. Let me tell you about my weekend:

I just want to give you a mere glimpse into my world with the incredible obsessive-compulsive Cowboy (ok not really--he's never been diagnosed--I'm just joking..kinda). But get this:

I spent about an hour (!!!!) detailing the tractor cab with armor-all then had to wait while he did the whole "white-glove inspection" thing. I passed after only a couple of "you missed a spot here.." and "this looks like $#!+"....not bad, I've learned how to handle criticism.

And just when I thought I knew where the western edge of my world was, it moved farther west. We had supper in a little diner in a town about 15 miles west of what used to be the Western Edge. On the way we passed a house with a yard filled with junk of all kinds and a sign letting passers-by know he's open for business sellin' junk. The diner was super cute with an extensive menu and lots of atmosphere. Good food...mmm

When we got back to the farm, we hopped on the club car (like a souped-up golf cart--kinda like a John Deere gator)and drove around looking at the hay fields (so ready to be cut and baled) and the corn (so not gonna be knee-high by the 4th of July) when I spotted a renegade angus calf. Where did he get out?

Cowboy said, "Go down to the end of the fence and open the gate...stand there and don't let the calf get past you." (remember a couple blogs ago when I confessed to just now being introduced to cattle?---yeah, well my inexperience was showing).

Cowboy and the Aussie shepherd herded the crazy thing toward the gate AND ME!!! I jumped behind the corner post and braced myself for a collision...didn't happen...the calf went right into the pasture and the pup kept chasing him and then all the other calves--it was almost a stampede. Cowboy called the pup off and we rode on. It was dark by then and we stopped to watch the million lightning bugs flashing everywhere. It reminded me of seeing a camera shot of a packed stadium where tons of people in the crowd are taking pictures with flashes. I almost felt famous...haha

While the lightning bugs entertained our eyes, the tree frogs and bull frogs tickled our ears. Then the Cowboy said, "If I had some DDT, I'd get rid of those frogs!!"

What???? I would never have allowed it!! Oh well, some things aren't worth arguing about....I must have let the comment slide since we didn't argue..... Later he opened our bedroom window so I could fall asleep to the serenade of frogs. See, he ain't so bad!!!

Sunday afternoon I stained a porch swing Cowboy bought. Learned a valuable lesson: Wear gloves. No, don't resist...they aren't as over-rated as I thought. My hands and nails were a lovely charcoal gray. Guess what ended up taking the stain off my hands... Gum Out Carb and Choke Cleaner..it may have taken the pigment out of my skin, too (not that there's much to begin with)...remember the commercials with Madge the manicurist and Palmolive dish soap? Substitute Gum Out Carb and Choke Cleaner..."you're soaking in it." Then flash forward to my future dr appt: "all your symptoms are consistent with Gum Out poisoning...there's not much hope, sorry."

Oh well, I've lived long enough to relay the story...I better get some work done...see ya later!!