Just a girl who could no longer deny the dirt in her veins.
Showing posts with label Empty Nest Syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Empty Nest Syndrome. Show all posts

Friday, February 19, 2016

When I Finally Snapped

The empty-nest syndrome.
The (ok, I admit it) jealousy that Cowboy has his own "personal" dog.

It was too much.  I snapped.

Let me get this off my chest:

Friends were heading to Texas over Christmas. These same friends have family down there who just happen to be breeders of Australian Shepherds...who just happened to have a couple of female pups left out of a litter.

"Do you want a pup?"  Cowboy asked.

I think my reply was something along the lines of.. "I don't know."  {Except it was in the Hoosier farm kid variation of the phrase --- which is a shrug accompanied with a closed mouth, say it in your throat kind of humming -- "mmmMMMmmm."  Really hard to explain.}

While my adult mouth was shut, the little kid who still lives in me was shouting in my head: "Of course I want a pup! I want every pup!"

The adult in me was shouting even louder in my head:  "Are you crazy? Are you ready for the commitment that it takes? 10 years! At least!  Weeks of house-training! The major clean-ups that take place after messes.  Walking around the backyard at 3am saying, "would you just go already!"  Teaching a pup how to survive around tractors, trucks, cows and horses.  Training her not to chase the chickens and cats and not to bark at the goats."

"F & H said they would bring a pup back with them when they come back," he informed.  Was he trying to persuade me?  It was working.

"Have F send me a picture."

In 0.68 seconds I had a picture of each pup and pictures of their mom and dad.  Oh yeah, and a video of the pups romping in their kennel.

Awwwwww

One piqued my interest....

She didn't have the typical white on her face and she wasn't fuzzy.  Just something about her...her eagerness, her friendliness.  Something.  {Is it possible to gather all that from a picture and a video?...well, apparently.}

I said, "Yes.  I want that pup with the white chest."

A week later she arrived on our doorstep....

a sweet, wack-o bundle of energy.... who looks nothing like what I wanted.  See?  No white on her face.  Her ears are considered a "serious flaw" in the breed.  Her coat isn't fuzzy like Aussie Pup's.


What's worse is:

She's in the puppy-equivalent to the terrible-two stage.... but like terrible-two with ADD. She can sit in one place for 7.72 seconds.  She constantly moves around:  the floor to the couch to the pillow to the foot stool to the rug ... and then all over again.  She goes through the trash, chases and sometimes catches the chickens.  She chews chunks of wood, walnuts, rocks and sticks. She runs from me when I say, "Come." She runs past me when I call her to stand next to me. She steals socks from the laundry basket and runs from me when I try to take them from her. She ignores me when I call her.  She ventures where she's not allowed....like up the stairs... 27 times a day!  She barks in the night to be let out only to smell stuff.....

oh, let's talk about this one.....

It has become completely obvious that Cowboy has something wrong with his hearing.  He can hear the roar of a tractor, bulldozer, chainsaw or semi from a mile away.  He can hear a coon hound bark in the woods while we're in the house watching tv.  He awakes from a deep sleep when he hears a cow mooing in the far pasture.  But he CANNOT hear the puppy barking in the night 2 rooms away.  Should I call the doctor?

Back to my pup....

She bites whatever is at mouth level.  She relentlessly wrestles with Aussie Pup. She snores. She digs food out of her bowl like she's digging to China.  She's afraid of the dark and of strange noises.  She's clumsy and awkward.

She's overly affectionate.  She has great potential.



I'm calling her Rose.  My "personal" dog.


Thursday, February 11, 2016

What Finally Did It? Was It Jealousy? The Empty Nest?

Things change.  Kids grow up and leave the nest. The nest lets out a sigh as if to say, "Whew! I thought they would never leave!"  I thought I was prepared for the empty nest time of life.  Time to myself. Time to pursue my photographer/farmer/artist/author/bakery/antique store dream. Not having to keep track of every. person's. schedule.  Free!  Free is good, right?  Right!?

Sometimes the empty-nest-reality hits hard when I remember (all over again) that there are no more kids under our roof...like when the school closings scroll along the bottom of the TV screen.  I loved the stage of life when our nest was full.  I miss those days more often than I thought I would.  This winter has been especially hard.  I snapped.  I just snapped.

What did it?

JEALOUSY

Cowboy is always teasing -- like rubbing it in -- that Aussie Pup is his "personal" dog.

It's true.

That dog stays by Cowboy's side, anticipating his every move.  He goes with us... everywhere....making sure Cowboy and I don't sit together.  If Cowboy and I sneak in a hug, that dog becomes a canine crowbar to pry us apart. If I walk near Cowboy's chair, Aussie Pup runs interference.  If Cowboy has to leave Aussie home with me, that nutty dog mopes and watches out the window.  When Cowboy calls me from another room, that bossy dog barks and comes to find me and nudges me in Cowboy's direction.  Aussie thinks he's better than me. 

Oh, but do you think it's all Aussie's fault?

You be the judge:

Dead of winter. Record cold. Riding in the truck. Heater on high. Fan on full-blast. Got the picture?  Suddenly Aussie starts panting. Oh no!!  Is he too hot?  Just as suddenly, the windows come down to cool things off.  Did anyone wonder whether I'd be too cold with all that wind blowing on me?  Dog. comes. first.  Aussie looks smugly at me. He knows he's top dog.

Ok..that's the only example I can call to mind. So maybe I'm being too sensitive.

That brings me to the jealous part.  {Will I ever understand myself?}

Am I jealous that Aussie loves Cowboy more than he does me?  or... am I jealous of all the attention he gets? .... or am I jealous that I don't have a "personal" dog?

This is getting too intense...I'll have deal with those questions later....

THE EMPTY NEST

It's hard to step out of the role of parent.  We've become the kind of empty-nesters that turn our pets into our new kids.

"I got Aussie Pup a half-order of biscuits and gravy."

"Save half of your steak for Aussie Pup."

"Let me tell you some cute stuff Aussie Pup did."

"Can't Aussie Pup go on vacation with us?"

"He understands what I'm saying!"

No really...he does!  I'm serious.  Want some evidence?  Let me brag on him:

1st case:  Last fall while looking out the window at the apple trees I said to Cowboy, "Look at all those apples under the tree.  I'll pick apples tomorrow."  Tomorrow came. I grabbed the plastic clothes basket and Aussie and I headed out the door.  He ran ahead right to the tree I spoke of the night before and waited for me.  Coincidence?

2nd case: Cowboy hollered to me, "Take the little truck down and open that far gate!"  Aussie ran ahead of me and waited beside the little truck.  Believe it or not.

He's so smart....but he loves Cowboy more.

Two things I know:  I need a personal dog.  I need to fill my nest.  Are you connecting some dots?

So I snapped..... my next post will fill you in on the details.