My Hobby Dog
“Grandpa,” the children shouted, “Tell us the story of your
most favorite dog ever!”
“Well,” Grandpa cleared his throat, scratched his head and asked,
“You want to hear that story again? The
one about that special dog?”
“Please,” they begged.
“People were always saying to me, ‘you must be an avid
hunter because you’re always hunting.’
After I’d heard that enough, I thought maybe I should become an avid
hunter. And any good avid hunter would
need to get a good dog to hunt for those avids.
So I set out to find me such a dog.
“I went way up yonder next door and found the perfect dog to
hunt avids. The owner took me clear out
front to his backyard to show me this special dog. That dog was hard to see. His coat was kind of black and kind of brown. I couldn’t tell the black from the brown or
the brown from the black. He was
camouflaged. His long-short hair was
straight like a horse’s mane and curly like a sheep’s wool. He had a long, short, straight corkscrew tail
that stood still when he wagged it. Oh,
he was a very special dog!
“He had a really long pug nose and tiny beady eyes with
pupils the size of Oreo cookies to help him see the avids at night. His miniature floppy ears stood straight up
and were huge and powerful so he might hear the avids’ heartbeats.
“His short legs were remarkably long and ran all the way to
the ground. Standing on the ground were
his teeny feet that had great big pads to help him float. But he was afraid of water. What a special dog!
“He was a professional hobby dog. I made my up mind that I would buy that
dog. He didn’t cost much, but he was
very expensive. I called him My Hobby
Dog since he was so professional. Did
you know that my Hobby Dog was a very special dog?
“My Hobby Dog and I wanted to start avid hunting right
away. We learned all about avids and how
to hunt them. Avids can be found in
dry creek beds and in clear-cut forests. The best time to hunt avids is in the
moonlight on dark, stormy nights.
“On one moonlit, stormy night, My Hobby Dog and I jumped in
the truck and walked to the dry creek bed.
What do you think we saw?”
“What?” The wide-eyed
children asked.
“Avids! They were playing
and swimming in the dry creek bed and didn’t even see us come. The second his beady eyes and huge pupils caught
a glimpse of those avids, My Hobby Dog jumped into the water that wasn’t there
and nabbed the biggest avid. With that
avid in his mouth, My Hobby Dog swam to the bank and climbed out of the dry
creek bed. He brought the avid right to
me and I put it in the sack. We had our
first avid.
“The rest of the avids in the dry creek bed were frightened
and scrambled to get to safety, but My Hobby
Dog was too fast for them. He snatched
them, one by one, out of the creek bed and carried them to me. In a short time that took almost all night,
we had enough avids to fill one empty sack.
“My Hobby Dog and I were not tired but we went home to get
some sleep. We would hunt again the next
moonlit, stormy night.”
“What about all the avids you caught, Grandpa? What did you do with them all?”
“What do you think I did with all those avids? I found a big box with a lid. With a sharp knife, I cut great big small holes in the
sides and lid. I emptied the sack of
avids into that big box and quickly clapped on the lid. I taped the lid to the box to keep those
avids from escaping. They were so surprisingly
quiet that they kept us awake all night. The next morning I turned them all loose in
the garden shed.
“Another moonlit, stormy night came. Do you think My Hobby Dog was ready to go
avid hunting?”
“Yes!” The children
cried in unison.
“Yes, he was. We
drove nearby across the county to the largest clear-cut forest in the
region. Before I could stop the truck, My
Hobby Dog leaped right out of the window and with his long pug nose to the
ground ran smack-dab in the middle of that clear-cut forest. Avids were running everywhere to stay away
from my dog. My Hobby Dog chased one
avid up a tall tree that wasn’t there. He
stood still, looked up and barked and barked so loud that I couldn’t even hear
him. My Hobby Dog waited for a long
second, and when that crazy avid jumped onto the trunk of the next tree that
wasn’t there, My Hobby Dog sprung up and grabbed that avid in his mouth. He ran
all the way back to me, gathering even more in his mouth with every step.
“I grabbed the largest small sack out of my truck, laid it
on the ground beside me and held open its end.
By the time My Hobby Dog reached me, he had five avids in his mouth and
was chasing a dozen more. The avids
running ahead of him went straight into the open sack. Then My Hobby Dog let loose of the ones in
his mouth and they ran straight into the open sack too. Once all the avids were in sack, I tied it
shut and carefully threw it into the bed of the truck.
“We jumped in and out of the truck, then My Hobby Dog laid
down standing up all the way home. Once
we got to the house, we realized it was a long time past supper and our full stomachs
were empty. Avid stew seemed like just
the thing to take away our hunger. I
took a few of the avids out of the sack, and off with their heads and
feet! My Hobby Dog ate all the furs and
feathers and I put what was left into the stew pot along with potatoes and
carrots. We had such a delightful meal.
“When we finished supper, My Hobby Dog licked off all the
plates and spoons and even the stew pot.
Then I washed them all and put them away. Boom!
Then it hit me! I still had more
avids in the sack! I shook them out of
the sack and stacked them on the shelf in the refrigerator.
“My Hobby Dog was a very special dog! I’ll bet you’d like to see him!”
“Could we?” the
children shouted.
“I’ll get down the photo album and show you.”
Grandpa opened the photo album to the first page.
“See here?” he asked.
“No, Grandpa, it’s just pictures of trees and meadows. We don’t see a dog.”
“Oh, I forgot! My Hobby
Dog is very camera-shy. He hid behind
trees and in gopher holes every time I tried to take a picture of him. But I can tell you the secret way to see My
Hobby Dog. Do you want to know that
secret?”
“Yes!”
“To see My Hobby Dog, you have to have a good imagination.”
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