Today's Episode of "The Farmer's Daughter"

In the spirit of the popular reality drama shows.....

Narration by:  a voice that sounds like Paul Christie (the guy who narrates Gold Rush Alaska)

"Today on the Farmer's Daughter...."

"Awakened at 3:15 am by a back spasm, Farmer's Daughter tosses and turns trying to find a comfortable position so she can fall back asleep.  It hasn't even occurred to her that her spasm stemmed from a careless maneuver the previous day...."

{Scene from yesterday's hidden camera:  Farmer's Daughter thoughtlessly lifting and carrying the shopvac to the truck instead of dragging it across the gravel drive}

"Catching a few more minutes sleep proves difficult when the dogs start fighting on the back porch.  Farmer's Daughter reluctantly gets up and puts on her robe.  The clock reads 5:15am and the eastern sky is just barely getting light."

{Camera follows her to the back porch where she lets the dogs outside.  They all chase the white cat into the barn}

"As she begins the morning routine, she realizes that the dishwasher was not run the day before:  the coffee pot is dirty, not usable until it's washed.  She knows that washing it properly will delay the brewing process so she opts to rinse it; a procedure she has secretly done countless times.  With the quick rinse complete, she inspects the interior of the pot; and satisfied with the results,  she activates the coffee brewing sequence."

{Camera shows her putting way too much cream and sugar into her coffee}

+++Commercial break---probably some teeth whitening product+++

"After her 3rd loaded cup of coffee, and having done her quiet time, Farmer's Daughter sorts a load of laundry.  When she opens the lid of the washing machine, she finds a full load of towels ready to wash.  She clearly doesn't remember the towels and gives Princess a sideways look.  The load she just sorted will have to wait until the towels are done...a delay she can't afford...but one that is unavoidable."

{Camera shows her watching the news and then follows her to the chicken house where she feeds the hens}

"Aware that she is behind schedule, she skips a crucial step in the feeding:  checking the water fountain....a move that will cause yet another set-back later in her day.  From the chicken house she makes her way to the clothes line and hangs both loads of laundry on the line."

{Camera jumps scene to show her carrying a big muck bucket to the front flower bed}

"Frustrated that her flower bed is overrun by renegade ground-covering weeds, Farmer's Daughter feverishly pulls the weeds and puts them into the giant bucket.  Her nose is running because of allergies.  Neighbors drop by to say hi.  She checks her watch...she will not make her 10:00 deadline.  She apparently doesn't care and stops to take a break."

{Camera follows her into the house and into the living room}

"She watches a cooking show online and heads back out finish the flower bed.  Even though she has only a small portion of the bed left to clear, she decides not to pull weeds.  Instead she starts to wash the 3rd truck (having washed 2 yesterday).  Visits from a girlfriend and then from her parents, Farmer and Farmer's Wife, put the truck washing on hold."

+++Commercial break---probably some kind of taco dinner+++

"She takes the Farmer and Farmer's Wife around the place to show them flowers and trees that are blooming.  They want to see the chickens.  As they all admire the chickens, Farmer's Daughter sees that the chickens' water fountain is bone-dry.  Now she has to interrupt the visit with her parents to do what should have been done that morning.  She fills their fountain; the chickens are so thirsty that they drink the water as it pours from the bucket.  It's an 80 degree March day."

{Camera pans out as Farmer and Farmer's Wife pull out of the drive way}

"Before the Farmer's Daughter heads out to finish washing the truck, she makes her way into the family's only bathroom.  The unthinkable happens...no toilet paper left on the roll.  And to make matters worse, no toilet paper in the vanity.  This is a major complication.  She calls Princess at work (knowing that such a call could find Princess in hot water with her bosses) to ask her to pick up toilet paper on the way home."

{Camera shows an uncomfortable Princess at the Law Firm on her cell phone}

"Princess tells Farmer's Daughter that there is still a lot of toilet paper in storage in the basement.  Relieved, Farmer's Daughter restocks the bathroom toilet paper supply."


There were so many more dramatic developments in my day...but it's LATE so I'm gonna have to continue this later....