YOW!! That Rearranged My Electrolytes!!

Cowboy and Ranch Hand finished putting up an electric fence around the cornfield.  The cattle can graze on the corn stalks and on the corn that didn't make it into the combine.  My job to this point has been that of cheerleader:  "Good job, team!!"  "Amazing!!"   "Superb ability!!"  "Awesome effort!!"
And I've been happy about being a cheerleader...really.

I've been promoted, it seems.  Last night after Ranch Hand went home Cowboy asked me to go with him to inspect the fence.  So the cows would know that there is a wire not to be crossed, we tied ribbons of white plastic to the top wire mid-way between each fence post.  My frugal German ancestors would be so proud that we used the white plastic bale wrap from out of the dumpster!!   You might call it dumpster diving; I call it ingenious repurposing.  When we finished the tying, we went to the fence charger and turned the switch to  "on"....so, ok, so far so good.

Listen to this conversation and be amazed... or just have pity on me:

Cowboy:  I wish I knew if that thing was hot.  How can we check it?
Me:  Don't you have a circuit tester?
Cowboy:  No.
Me:  You could just touch it.
Cowboy:  I hate getting shocked.
Me:  Soooo, let me get this straight:  you want ME to touch it.
Cowboy:  (smiling) Yeah.
Me:  (grimacing) I can't believe I'm tougher than you are!!


I touched the top wire...nothing.

Me:  I got nothin' .... maybe it's not making a complete circuit.  **where did that statement come from?  I sounded.....expert**
Cowboy:  I don't know.
Me:  I'll touch both wires and complete the circuit...'cause I'm braver than you are,  I'm braver than you are!!


Filled with Super-girl courage, I grabbed both wires completing the circuit.  I could feel a weak pulsing of electric current.

Me:  It's there, but it's weak.

Cowboy and I were both awestruck by my bravery.  I could read it in his face and I could feel it welling up in my inflated chest!!  I can tell that you're impressed, too.   Yeah, I'm all that!!

Me:  (with a marked cockiness)  Let me check the other side of the charger.

I grabbed both top & bottom wires and .....WHAM!!!....A jolt of juice that rearranged my electrolytes!!!!!

Me:  YOW!!  THAT'S HOT!!!!  Am I now the dopey, gullible employee?  "Hey, stupid, stick your arm in the lion's mouth and tell me if it hurts when he bites down."  No matter,  I'm still tougher than you are!!!


Cowboy just laughed....with me, at me.


You know, it felt exactly the same as it did when I, as a kid, was dared by my cousins to put both my knees on the hot wire around the little pig pasture.  I was the only one brave stupid enough to do it.  Somebody's gotta do it...for the sake of humanity!!!!