My Experience with Farm Animals

Interviewer: Tell me about your experience with farm animals...

Me: Uhhhhhhh, ok here goes--->

On the farm of my youth Dad raised corn, soybeans & wheat and ... hogs (one year we had ewes and lambs, but I won't count that). Then when I (finally) grew up, the Cowboy and I had horses for a while. I had no real knowledge of cattle until yesterday---- yes, yesterday I was introduced to cattle. Yesterday was the first time the Cowboy asked me to help him with cattle. He had about 40 head to pour on wormer and insecticide. Four of those are heifers about to be artificially inseminated and are being induced into fertile heat--tomorrow is their big day. WARNING: Don't ask me anything technical--certain questions might cause answers containing an inordinate amount of fabrication. Remember the t-shirts from the 70's that read: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull-shoes"? (I took the liberty of cleaning the phrase up a bit).

So anyway, my "job" yesterday was to stand there and wait for an order -- I was clearly in familiar territory. The cows, calves and heifers were to move from a crowd pen to a chute in single file and finally into a headgate to get their treatment. When a group was in the chute, I was to put a wooden board behind the last gal to keep her (and those ahead of her) from backing up. (Is my brilliance dazzling you yet?) It was actually fun. The Cowboy and his friend Shane did ALL the work.

I'm analytical by nature and an amateur efficiency expert (yeah, I know I used "amateur" and "expert" in the same sentence, what of it?). I enjoyed studying the process and the natural tendencies of the cattle. A few months ago I watched a show on tv about a woman who does that sort of thing for a living -- Dr. Temple Grandin (grandin.com). I'm fascinated--that may be my new thing to learn about this summer.

So, yeah....I offered my cattle handling suggestions to the Comboy during lunch. I don't think he was listening, though (he has perfected the posture of appearing to pay attention without actually doing so).

I think I may have a crush on newborn calves. I'm going to persude the Cowboy into letting me raise some cattle. Since I've had my chickens for only a month, I should probably wait though. My chickens are great, thanks for asking.